linzeestyle:

God, the look on his face here - that smile, that absolute feral smirk when he knows the bullet’s connected, and the shot is fatal.  I’ve seen meta suggesting this is where the programming breaks down because how could the Marvel universe’s deadliest assassin miss, but to me that’s not at all what’s happening here.  Bucky’s just been strangled unconscious; he’s likely still stunned.  Steve’s dislocated his human shoulder and twisted and warped the plates on his left arm in their previous fight.  Bucky isn’t missing because he wants to; he’s missing because he’s stumbling, dizzy, unable to aim.  He’s missing because his arm isn’t stable.  Look at that third gif; he’s in pain as he’s shooting; the blowback from each pull of the trigger is making him wince and he’s having trouble keeping his arm steady.  And through all of that, despite the fact his body — his ultimate weapon — is failing him, this is still his mission.  More than that, the mission is personal.  That, above all else, is where the programming is cracking: the Winter Soldier isn’t supposed to think in terms of personal; he isn’t supposed to want for himself, even if that want is violence, is retribution.  He’s supposed to follow orders, and in this moment, he wants to cause harm to someone who’s getting the better of him.  Tit for tat.  He feels threatened by this man who’s making him feel, and he wants those feelings to stop.  And he’s willing to push his broken, twisted body to the breaking point to do it.

We see this again, not long after, when he breaks down farther, is left backhanding Steve, repeated, distressed and sloppy hits that don’t mange to kill him, despite the fact that earlier we saw a single punch destroy concrete. In those final blows we can hear his arm squeaking, plates grinding against each other - we get a real sense of how damaged he is.  But he’s fighting, not on the orders of others, but because the things Steve is saying are terrifying and he wants them to stop, no matter the cost.

And now compare this — how damaged he is physically, how much pain he’s in, and how much of that pain he’s willing to ignore if it will make the main causing the chaos in his head stop talking — to what he must go through, jumping in to the Potomac after Steve.  Using his crushed and warped left arm to pull him to safety; using his dislocated right arm to move both of their bodies through the water.  The amount of pain he’s ignoring to save Steve; to save something important to him; to complete a mission of his own choosing.  And it’s completely, wholly altruistic.  He walks away: injured and without any concept of his own identity or where he should go from here.  The man on the ground — he’s the Soldier’s only link.  Someone who’s repeatedly offered to help him, to save him.  And the Soldier stays only long enough to make sure the man’s still breathing, to make sure he’s in clear enough view to be saved by his own team, before disappearing again.

For seventy years, Bucky’s entire existence has been a backdrop of pain that he’s learned to wear like a skin.  But that moment marks the first time he’s used his resilience against it for his own ends, against those who have made him into a weapon of destruction.

I will never get over this final scene.

tags: #reblogging this because yes to most of it even though I still have to slightly disagree with the first part #not about how much pain he is in there is no doubt about that #but about the pain being the (main) reason he misses #I still do think that's the first signs of his programming breaking down #one because the winter soldier isn't even supposed to feel pain #he's a weapon that's made to work as long as he can still stand on both feet and even beyond that as long as he can still pull the trigger #but he does feel it because the weapon is very slowly starting to realise it is a person somewhere underneath after all #but more importantly two people say that you cannot hate someone unless you care about them too #and while I don't generally agree with that notion (but that's a whole different topic) I do think it's true in this case #all the anger and hate and rage the winter soldier (bucky?) feels here #that makes him snarl and make his eyes go even colder and downright feral #that's only there because he's starting to feel not just the pain but the draw to that man #who called him by a name that he can't accept as his yet but also can't deny that it touched something in him #but he concentrates on his anger because his head is a spinning mess #and the anger is easier and more familiar than the other thing that's starting to grow there #but that doesn't change that this other thing is there #and no matter how much he wants this to stop wants steve to shut up #so this can all go away and he can go back to feeling nothing because this hurts #it hurts too muchpleasemakeitstop #the same part of him that wants to kill steve #is the part that cannot do it #because ihateyouiloveyouidon'tevenknwowhoyouare #bucky barnes #otp: with you till the end of the line #captain america: the winter soldier #mcu #marvel
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"You have to pay attention to the moments when you’ve felt on top on the world. I remember the first time I was on stage, I was doing ‘West Side Story,’ I was 17 and this woman was crying because she liked what I was doing so much."

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"You’re trying not to tell him you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for."

Richard Siken  (via snowjon)

image

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Character traits → Balthazar

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midget-banana:

i got bored from the thing i was working on so i made a soaring castiel

midget-banana:

i got bored from the thing i was working on so i made a soaring castiel

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nosignofwings:

Hannah in Season 10

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